I have been asked this question so many times in my office over the years. The Gottman Institute published an article that might be of help. When I am working with someone individually for therapy, my work is to focus on them, not their partner. I often recommend couples therapy to work on issues that clients are struggling with, and I always remind people that it takes two people in a relationship to make it work. In saying that, you always have to start with yourself. In the article, they suggest the following three things:
1. Focus on your partner’s strengths
2. Give your partner the benefit of the doubt.
3. Brush up on your communication skills.
I also remind my clients that there are many more options than just going to a couples therapist. There are many ways to heal a relationship. Going to therapy is just one way and not the only way to change a stuck dynamic.
For the full article, please click the link below.
