Personal Responsibility in Relationships

Often times, clients come to therapy and complain about their partners.  Although I specifically am not a marriage counselor, the topic of intimate relationships becomes a large part of individual therapy for people.  I really appreciated the comment in an article I read this month in Psychology Today.  

“We alone are responsible of having the relationship we want.  And to get it, we have to dig deep into ourselves while maintaining our connections.” (Webber, 2012, p.59).  

Later in the article Webber states:

“At the same time, taking the risk to expose your inner life to your partner turns out to be the great opportunity for expanding intimacy and a sense of connection.  This is the great power of relationships: Creating intimacy is the crucible for growing into a fully autonomous human being while the process of becoming a fully realized person expands the possibility for intimacy and connection.” (p. 64)

These points are so important.  Instead of pointing your finger at your partner, it is important to examine how you are showing up in the relationship and how can you make the relationship more satisfying and fulfilling.  It is all just another amazing opportunity to learn and to grow!

Source: Webber, R. (2012, February).  Are you with the right mate? Psychology Today, 56-65.